126 - ALPHA PLUS THEORY.

[buywithme]

[There's a slight rustle of pages, before Prefect speaks, and the first thing he says... doesn't sound very Prefectish.]

Man lives freely only by his readiness to die, if need be, at the hands of his brother, never by killing him.

[Pause.]

I don't know how I can talk about what circumstances it might be all right to kill people under. I haven't successfully killed anyone on the Barge, but during the time that I served the Factory I initiated the paperwork for thirteen hundred and seventy two people to be discontinued.

[He's quiet for a moment, then speaks.]

To be killed. I don't know what the exact proceedure was, and at the time there wasn't any reason why I should think on it too much, but if I had, the understanding that I would have come to was that I was arranging for them to be murdered.

Maybe that's why it seems strange to hear people talking about how the atmosphere on the Barge devalues life, because for me, being here did the exact opposite. Even though, Comrades, I went through hell here. Even though I died, even though I was tortured, and even though it was ignored by the wardens who were here at the time, being here still made life seem more valuable. It put what I'd done into perspective.

I think some of the things here happen because people are desperate, and because they're scared, and because life here is hard, but I think most of the things that happen here, just happen because we're evil, and because we never cared about who we hurt.

[There's another pause, another rustle of pages, then:]

Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man.

[HM.]

I found a book of quotes about not killing each other in the library.

Comments

Private

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

...

[Man that's a big number.]

You okay over there, Comrade?

Private

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

I'm all right.

[Yes, yes it is a big number. Prefect is a meticulous record keeper :c]

How are you recovering from the Death Toll, sister?

Private

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

It's been a week, I'm pretty much over it. I just need to hit the gym now, I feel all lazy and atrophied.

[sharpememory.livejournal.com]

Okay, you officially have no grounds to judge me for anything that I've done.

[darknessb4me]

[Steadying breath, then calm voice.]

I really want to hit you.

[sharpememory.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, unexpected. Any particular reason why or are you just having one of those days?

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

I don't judge you for what you've done, Comrade. I'm just... trying to persuade you not to do any of it again.

[sharpememory.livejournal.com]

I already told you that I won't. The barge has taught me an important life changing less about where you end up if you do the wrong thing.

[darknessb4me]

[shit, that's almost up to his number! he didn't think anyone would get there that wasn't exploding planets.

stupid the master. thinks he's so cool in his alien spaceship.]

Light above, Prefect.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

[Never underestimate what eleven years as part of a meticulously well organized regime of evil can do for your score.]

I know.

[Pause]

That was my function, Comrade. The whole world, the whole of the Factory, it was built on people like me, who just... fulfilled our functions exceptionally well.

[darknessb4me]

Can see why you stayed here.

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

Thirteen hundre... that's... that's more people than lived in the area I policed.

It's a good quote, in my view. There's a Bible quote I could give you there. About six thousand, actually, about how refraining from doing something is twice as powerful as doing it. It means you have mastery of yourself, above all else, it means... all sorts.

But I won't.

Private

Prefect, I've got to confess something to you. Why I can't give you those quotes, why I can't back you up with Scripture, no matter how much I think your final point is right.

Private

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

[That first bit burns him a little, Howie :c]

Is something wrong, Comrade?

Private

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

[soooooorry. natural reaction.]

I've lied to you, Prefect, and I feel a little horrible about it. Once whilst I was myself, and once whilst I was under different influences.

You asked me if I believed in God. Then you asked me about God. I paid you lipservice, nothing better. I felt my faith crumbling under my fingertips and I didn't want to admit it, so I lied. The second time, it was the easier solution, the easier lie.

But I want at least a little honesty. So I'm sorry for having said all of that.

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

And comrade, how weak you are now in comparison to then.

[darknessb4me]

[HRRR you give him angst

not that he needs help, god]

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

[That book of quotes he got? GANDHI.]

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

Except, comrade, that you have to repent before you can forgive, comrade.

I clean people of their sin, comrade. I believe they can be corrected. I want them to be pure. I never disbelieved in forgiveness, but you need repentence first, or it means nothing.

[private]

[young-idealist.livejournal.com]

I never knew that. About the executions. Though, from how you're saying it, perhaps very few people did.

I agree about the non-violence. I think living here brings out that instinct to fight.

Re: [private]

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

It never really came up before, Comrade. The idea that killing people might not be evil.

I always assumed it went without saying.

[private]

[young-idealist.livejournal.com]

You lost me there, I'm afraid.

[Private]

[most_feared]

We had our memories erased.

In what I do. What I work for. You come in with the understanding that you will die in the line of service, or you will leave without knowing you ever served there. But we came in willingly. We knew it would be more likely to die without recognition than it would be to leave at the end.

It's not death. But it's not anything someone should be made to make without knowing the consequences, or have to be re-educated into staying.

Not something I would tell O'Brien about so I'd prefer you didn't. We don't even have names.

[He's not touching anything else with a ten foot pole. He has to kill a lot of people for a living, people some other people wouldn't recognize as people. And he's had to kill a few humans. But with everyone else going off, he feels another mob mentality building up and he's going to dodge it like the plague.]

Re: [Private]

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

I won't tell him.

[Pause]

Are you sad? That you're going to have to forget everything one day.

[Then a MOMENT OF SYMPATHETIC PANIC]

Wait! Comrade, what about Narvin?

Private - voice

[una_persson]

[Have some page-rustles back, Prefect. And then Una reads from this:]

"We are all guilty of supporting the circumstances, the self-deceptions, the misconceptions, which lead to war. Every lie we tell ourselves makes something like the destruction of Hiroshima all the more likely. Hiroshima has been destroyed in more than one world, by more than one man, over and over again. The circumstances are often different, but the people die just the same, and some men (or women) feel that they carry the whole weight of responsibility. We are all victims, Mr. Bastable, just as, in other ways, we are all aggressors. At root we are victims of the comforting lies we tell ourselves, of our willingness to have leaders, religions, of our wish to shift responsibility onto others, whether it be politicians, Gods or creatures from other planets."

Private - voice

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

[There's a long, cautious pause, before he replies.]

What does that mean, Sister?