86 - THE GRAND RETURN!

[buywithme]

Is this--

...

Comrades? Are we--

[There's a long pause.]


I have-- cons--


Comrades!

Consumers!

Allow me to extend my fondest and most sincere greetings to you from the end of history! I’m quite sure you know my name: Prefect. Are we not the most highly favored of all our kinds to be here? In this, our new chance? Our new and open doorway? The compilation of not only millennia of history and experience, but worlds upon worlds of variety and flavor, all compressed into one microcosmic existence? Lain out for us on a platter? Let us not mourn our misfortune or dream of escape, but rather, let us combine and create and expand in our scope and diversity! Once more unto the breach my friends once more! Let us immanentize the eschation!

Brothers, sisters, comrades, buy with me.



[Ooc: Okay, so Prefect is back, and where he was that week lasted a lot longer than it did here. As such, he's worried that the people he knew will have all either graduated or just vanished off. Instead of being sensible and asking, he's re-written his original greeting post in case he's just surrounded by strangers.]

Comments

no, he won't be telling you which context he means that in either.

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

immanentize the eschation? this is why newspeak is a brilliant invention

You're quite a duckspeaker, aren't you, comrade?

Prefect is bemused, but happy to see someone who he knows is still here!

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Comrade! Hello!

I speak with the approved voice, dialect and language of the Factory!

1/3 - YAY PREFECT!

[themostdashing.livejournal.com]

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes, this 'Factory'.

Haven't you managed to develop Newspeak yet? It saves a lot of trouble.

2/3 - but you left, you huge dick. :c

[themostdashing.livejournal.com]

3/3 - so Pavi is repressing his glee at your return dammit.

[themostdashing.livejournal.com]

You have not been gone for so very long that everyone has forgotten who you are, signor.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Newspeak? Comrade, I don't entirely comprehend what it is you're referring too, but the way I speak isn't any trouble at all.

[parttimejob.livejournal.com]

All that means you want us to buy things?

1/2 - PREFECT REPRESSES NO SUCH GLEE AT YOU STILL BEING HERE!

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Brother!

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

You're missing out, comrade. It's a variant on English which abolishes unnecessary words and phrases. There's no such word as bad, for example. Just 'ungood'. And then instead of adverbs, you just add -wise, like 'speedwise' instead of quickly. There's lots of other things we've done to make the language more efficient.

OOC: Una kicks back to watch this thread with a bowl of popcorn at hand.

[una_persson]

 

2/2

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

How long have I been gone, Comrade? It felt like-- There was... there wasn't a calendar, but the clock, I counted--

...

...It felt like a long time.

[themostdashing.livejournal.com]

You have been gone from the Barge for six days and a little less than a week.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

I want you to embrace the loving inevitability of commerce, Comrade! What do you want, Brother? What fleeting whim goes unfulfilled? What don't you have?

[parttimejob.livejournal.com]

What don't I have?

Just about everything I could possibly want. I doubt you could give it to me. They aren't the kinds of things you can just buy.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

...So, Comrade, what you're saying is that your language is smaller than mine, and you think that makes it good?

Comrade, you have less than me, less is worse than more. The only word that should be removed from the dictionary is the word 'enough', and the extra space it's absence makes should be used to enlarge the entry for 'enormous'!

PREFECT IS MORE TROUBLED THAN HE IS LETTING ON :c

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Oh.

So, I guess it's probably like, I've not really been gone very much at all? That's good, a week is better than--

Okay! So! It's been a week! That's good! Okay, Brother, how has your week been?

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

Yes, comrade, but efficiency is even more important than quantity. Think of what you can control, just by eliminating certain words. Think of what you can do with that power, comrade.

To say it's constantly getting smaller, Newspeak enables a vast amount of things.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Comrade, with enough initiative, you can buy anything, besides, if you don't have any of the things you want then I can almost certainly get you some of them! Make a list!

[parttimejob.livejournal.com]

Could we meet sometime to discuss it?

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Comrade, the Factory has built a palace of excess within the reassuring bars of efficiency. Why create less words for things when you can create more? When you can have seventeen words for 'need', so that you can never run out of ways to tell people what they deserve? Nineteen words for one chemical so you can slip one off and the next on whenever the fashion shifts?

Comrade, the world needs options! Nay, deserves options! And there is literally no one but the Factory who can provide them with those options. So is it not our duty to do so?

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Of course, brother! I would be more than happy to come and discuss your order with you whenever and wherever is convenient!

Poor Prefect. Have some bitching to distract you!

[themostdashing.livejournal.com]

It has been extremely bad. The Pavi's warden is being more of a self-righteous figlio di puttana every day and I thought that you had graduated or some such thing and gone away without telling anybody.

[parttimejob.livejournal.com]

What currency do people use here, or can we talk about then as well? I could make a list, a long list.

Prefect doesn't know what a fifilo di puttana is, but it sounds like some kind of food to him.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, Comrade. I didn't mean to go without telling you, I was just going back to my room from the infirmary, and when I opened the door I wasn't... It wasn't here anymore.

...

What's a fifilo di puttana mean?