004 - He's enjoying this way, WAY too much!

[buywithme]

Comrades! Brothers! Sisters! Brothers who are sisters and sisters who were brothers! I know you're all secretly loving this! In regards of the sudden and spectacular rearranging of our needs, I would like to let you all know that for the next day I will be selling feminine hygiene products and masturbatory aides at a price that is practically GIVING THEM AWAY!

This may never happen again, never before have I said "seize the day" and meant it so very much!

Comments

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

You've piqued my curiosity.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Piqued indeed. I also still have those bobbins I was offering earlier if you're interested in that particular experience?

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

Unless you've got something to offer that's an improvement upon what was available in my own time, I'm afraid I'm not interested.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

I have.

I'm just weighing up my willingness to part with it...

Have you ever used an "electronic massage device" before?

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

I don't believe so. What is it?

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

It's a rubber device shaped specifically to reach all those uncomfortable spots around the back of your neck and work out the tensions there.

By some wild coincidence it also happens to be the right size and shape for women to set it to a slightly different purpose. Think, "sonic screwdriver", but slightly bigger and with four more vibration settings.

Really works out the tensions.

Private

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

...What do you want for it?

Private

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

I need some Hypodermic Syringes.

On the understanding that these might be tricky to get hold of I can give you the "massager" now while you're still in a position to use it and you can pay me once we're all turned back again.

As with all the deals I'm making here this is negotiable, at a push.

Private

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

I have no idea what hypodermic syringes even are.

Private

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Ahh, right, a man out of his era...

Okay, well, don't worry, why don't you make me an offer?

Private

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

As you said I am a man of my era. Short of quill and turn of phrase, I've little in the way of services to offer. I would even offer you perhaps a bauble from my own collection. Various things, all hand crafted, some antiques, some with historical significance -- others with...functional applications.

Whatever should please you.

Private

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Disregard all other comments, I'll get the syringes somewhere else! I'd be completely willing to trade with you for something with a functional application!

Private 2

[impure-tale.livejournal.com]

I can of course find out.

But you'll have to bear in mind that my ability to acquire much of anything is quite hindered while my Warden is feeling as unreasonable as she is.

...I wonder if she's still a "she" right now?

Private

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Ahh, that would be wonderful! Right now time is not so essential for me as it is for you. If you find you can get me them then I will expect you to do so, if not, then you can perhaps provide me with something else.

Either way, It's not as if I'm going to have a hard time tracking you down should you decide not to provide some sort of return for my efforts.

And rest assured, I look forward to finding out...

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

No. This'll only last a short while. I highly doubt I'll start...bleeding in the short time that I'll be a woman.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Oh but think of all the other things you could be doing!

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

No. I'm not going to...ergh, disgusting.

Here's another topic. Did you talk to Peter before we all grew breasts?

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Really? I've been doing nothing else!

And yes, I did make contact with my almost brother. Most interesting, I believe we're going to go for a drink at some point.

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

Oh my god...

A drink. You and Peter are going for a drink. Well, that wasn't what I had in mind, but I guess it's alright.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

And what exactly did you have in mind dare I ask?

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

Never mind. Don't worry about it.

...do you have any chocolate among the "aides"?

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Interesting that your mind goes straight from my meeting with Peter to the "aides" I have to offer.

How deeply should I be reading into this comrade?

And of course my friend, chocolate is part of my permanent stock.

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

Ha-hah. Don't read anything in to it. I'm not the Master, I don't like my Warden like that.

Really. What do you want for some chocolate?

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Too late.

I'll accept anything you feel like parting with for it. It's not particularly rare or valuable, just extremely comforting. Make me your best offer.

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

Hrm. Let me see if there is any in the kitchen first, before I decide to trade with you or not. You know, it'll be better if I got it free.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was going to suggest checking the kitchen, but I didn't want to willingly throw away a sale.

[lazarusrisen.livejournal.com]

I'm not surprised at that. Anyway, I'll get back to you if the Admiral decided to hate us even more and take away our chocolate privilages.

That's nothing, literally everything in Prefects room has now been inside his vagina.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately I just sold off my spare speciality piece, but I still have a large variety of bobbins and lubricants...

...and stress balls, they're pretty good, you squish them down and then they expand again! And I have this sculpture which is actually really tacky as a statuette, but for what I'm trying to sell now it's wonderful!

[I live to incite giggle fits!]

Prefect would be freaked out, but the gloves are for someone else so he doesn't care!

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

I've never been a woman before, of course I'm going to make the most of it! Besides, I wouldn't want to think I was selling anything but items of the highest possible quality.

And believe me, they're wonderful.

So, what can I offer you for the gloves?

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Wonderful choice Comrade. You'd like me to drop it round now?

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

[I meant to ask would you like to log this, comment spam it, or just take it for granted as having happened?]

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

[Heee, yeah I imagined you might be a little swamped right now XD I just wanted to make sure you were okay with that!]

[onderhaus.livejournal.com]

Your devotion to capitalism is touching.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

I pride myself on it.