buywithme: (Telesales!)
Just to clarify: You bringing me back here after I went to see Sam and Pavi when I graduated wasn't the advance fulfillment of my deal as a warden, was it?
buywithme: (facepalm)
She's gone. She's not here, we're alone again

Comrades, I really, really, really need a drink. My supplies have been... confiscated for the time being. If anyone owes me an unpaid favor and has anything alcoholic then now would be the time to write off your debt in this way, alternatively, if anyone has anything alcoholic and is interested in a trade then my other supplies remain meticulously stocked.

Please, I really--

I need too--
buywithme: (Default)
[Private to Elle]

The poison, the Handcuffs, and one night spent with you, in exchange for all three pages. Is that a deal?

[Private to Swing]

I'm sorry, Comrade. My employer doesn't think he'd have much use for a coat in a weatherless environment like the barge. He's accepted another offer made for the pages.

I have your rulers however, if you'd like to come and get them?
buywithme: (Calm Prefect)
Comrades! I don't suppose anyone's interested in buying any pages of Warden locked posts? There are three on offer from a third party interested in losing them.
buywithme: (Puppy dog eyes)
Comrade! Consumer! I have a proposition for you!

ooc: This isn't a filter, it's a private message to each of them which just happens to be identical!

Added later: [Private to Pavi]

Brother? I was wondering If you could sell me some leather?
buywithme: (Calm Prefect)
Okay, Comrade, having reviewed journals, past actions and specific dissidence? The following people are most likely to assist you in trying to escape without trying to kill you:

Major Henry West
Dr Horrible
Charlie Prince
Adam Monroe

These people organized the closest the barge has come to a non-homicidal overthrow of power, and have all expressed an interest in escaping and getting organized. Charlie Prince is probably... the least stable of them, while Namor was the least involved in the planning stages. West, Dr Horrible, and Adam all seem quite rational. There were obviously others involved, but most of them are less...

...Less reliable.
buywithme: (Default)
Uh, Comrade? Bad news, you know that friend of mine who was trying to escape? Well... he's had a change of heart. He told me to let you know that he's got business he has to finish here first, so I'm sorry, he can't help you.
buywithme: (Puppy dog eyes)
Comrade? I've been speaking to someone who was wondering if you'd mind meeting him? To discuss your ideas about finding a way off the barge.

He said his name is Arntzen, he's fairly new, and I think he'd like to speak to you...
buywithme: (Default)
Comrades! Consumers! Haven't we had a flood of unfamiliar faces lately? Well allow me to personally greet each and every one of you to the Barge. My name is Prefect, and I am the sole operator of the Factories single outlet here.

Comrades, I know this may be difficult for you, I know that you've awoken in a strange new place, far from home, I know you feel pressured and dominated and confused, but brothers, sisters, do not let your hearts be troubled. This place will tear at your minds and your hearts, destroy your body and each time allow you to rise from the ashes of that flesh like a scalding phoenix from the flames, it is a place forever in flux, forever changing. It is impermanent. The only way now to anchor ourselves is to build our own physical empires, Comrades, you are no longer your body or your mind or your primitive notions of soul, you are only what you surround yourself with! That is what abides, that is what remains.

So Comrades, Consumers, Brothers and Sisters, do not dwell in the realm of ever fleeting consciousness, but rather buy with me, the building blocks of who or what you are so that when your mind is torn away from you your foundations are still firm! Bicycles, balaclavas, ballet shoes, blue-ray players, boxer shorts, bottles, berets, baskets, basketballs, just a small number of the things we currently have in stock, and Comrades if we are unable to find what you require in our existing stores then rest assured, our staff will do literally whatever is possible to acquire what you need elsewhere, and all of this for the lowest prices possible.

Comrades, in the hours of your discontent, in the moments when this place at the end of time and space and history tries to drag you apart, ask yourself this:

Will I be lost? Will I be the one who falls first with no solid hold to grip onto? Will my mind be the first not to return?

Comrades, do not let it be so. Buy with me today, and we shall chain ourselves to this reality with the endless glory of commerce and products, in this ever fluctuating reality, we shall build our own, buy with me now, and make it so.

[Private to Jayne]

Comrade? I've been asked to contact you on behalf of someone who wishes to remain anonymous.
buywithme: (You bought it!  Good choice!)
Comrades, donate blood if you want! Donate blood if you really think that a bunch of starving vampires are going to stop at a pile of plastic baggies when they storm into a barge full of delicious warm living entities!

For those interested in a proactive alternative? I currently have a stock of hand carved stakes, crosses, and a small stockpile of garlic for interested parties!

Considering our current situation? I will most certainly be accepting IOU's.

[Stakes are about as sharp as Prefect was able to get them by demolishing his bedframe and trying to sharpen small pieces of it on his generally non-lethal belongings. They are, however, probably better than nothing. I'm still mostly without a laptop, so don't expect speedy replies! Everyone else updates and tags will start happening again on sunday!]
buywithme: (Calm Prefect)
Comrades! Consumers! Merry Christmas one and all! We would like to take this opportunity to announce that despite feeling general goodwill and cheer towards all men and women in this festive holiday season, neither the Factory nor its representatives are able to accept donations from any of our paying customers or our Warden.

Please come to your nearest designated Factory outlet at your earliest convenience, where you will be able to reclaim your gifts.

[Prefect has politely left the plant and the fabric outside his door for Sam and Harvey to come and take them back. Although he did it with a little reluctance. Interestingly, he appears to have deemed that the tax return is not a gift, and is busily working on it.

While wearing the Doctors Scarf.

Which he may never take off.]

Added later:

[Private to the Admiral]

Is the Barge for sale?

[Private to the Doctor]

Is your spaceship for sale?

[Private, just to himself]

In retrospect this is probably not something I should have pretended I might be able to do...
buywithme: (You WANT TO BUY THIS HAT!)
Mr Dent!

You're a professional aren't you? I need someone to perform a product evaluation for me too make sure I'm functioning up to the Factory's standard.

I'd reimburse you for your time of course.
buywithme: (you don't want to buy things?)
[Prefects handwriting may actually seem neater than usual, as he's trying extra hard to control himself.]

[Private to Joker]

Hypodermic needles Comrade. Don't come to my room again, I'll meet you somewhere to get them.

[Private to the Master]

Comrade, do you know where my Warden is?

I'll make you a good offer for him.[/Private]

[Added later]

Comrades? Would someone please come and remove Joker from outside my Cabin? Crane, he's your inmate, I'd like you to make him leave me alone outside of a business context please.

Once more unto the breach.
buywithme: (Perhaps you'd like to invest instead?)
Comrade! I've been working on filling your order for you, but I'm having trouble getting hold of some of the items you required. The syringes in particular I'm having a little trouble with, I was thinking perhaps we could do a little devision of this order, work through it a piece at a time if you will.

I have your gloves already, I have a source that can get me the Ket without any real problems, however, the source I'm counting on for syringes is asking for certain chemicals which I do not have access too. As a Warden, your scope reaches a little further than mine does, so perhaps you could make some enquiries for me as payment for what you need, I'll give you the gloves immediately, if you can give me a bottle of ammonia, it's common enough to trade for what I've got for you. Once I've given that to my other client as a good faith gesture I can almost certainly get you the syringes, and you can pay me for those and the Ketamine by getting hold of the following chemicals for me:

[A fairly short list of chemicals follow, WE ALL SUCK AT CHEMISTRY!]

Once we've confirmed that this deal is all right with you I'll get rid of this message. As always, my deals are completely confidential, and once more into the breach comrade.


buywithme: (Default)

October 2013



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