buywithme: (Perhaps you'd like to invest instead?)
Prefect ([personal profile] buywithme) wrote2008-12-12 06:38 am

27 - WHO LOVES FACTORY ANNOUNCEMENTS? PREFECT LOVES FACTORY ANNOUNCEMENTS :D

Comrades! Consumers!

Are you feeling the sting of loss in your life? The desperate cravings of inadequacy? Has your warden cut you off from something you long for and miss, or your inmate made it impossible to enjoy one of your former pleasures? Brothers, sisters, such times sting all of us at some point, but let these losses not deter us from our purer functions! Let them not drive us into states of brooding disapproval or let us search for an unmatchable fulfillment in our own souls! No, for doing this will only drag us deeper into the mindless quagmire of our own stinging loss! Comrades, instead let us ask ourselves why? What would really cure this pain? Not sitting alone in our rooms, nor distracting ourselves with the idle pleasures of company, NO Comrades! Do not be fooled by the blithe bragging of snake oil salesmen promising you gain through loss! Don't listen to the clamoring priests and evangelicals of loneliness and self indulgence! Comrades, the ache of loss is a physical manifestation of your own, wounded being, and can only be solved by the glorious deliverance of commerce!

Of products, Comrades!

It is in this spirit of hope that the Factory is forced to announce a brief intermission of access to our current stock. Know that we too feel the absence of that which we are cut off from, and that we will be there in sympathy and availability in your own times of hardship! Please direct any and all orders to our on site staff, who will endeavor to provide the very best of service even through this difficult period.

Comrades, believe always in strength through commerce! Through the bonds of the corporate family we are made whole, If you can not buy with me today, buy with me tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, once more unto the breach, and onto every breach!

Amen.

Private

[identity profile] i-hate-posses.livejournal.com 2008-12-12 02:27 pm (UTC)(link)
What's that mean for the dynamite I asked you for? Am I still gonna get it or what?

[identity profile] unbiasedchance.livejournal.com 2008-12-13 12:35 am (UTC)(link)
Right. Products will make everyone feel better? You're something else, Prefect.

Oh, and thanks for the suit. It fits like a glove.