Video - Filtered away from Beatty and O'Brien

[buywithme]

Comrades!

[Pause]

I mean, post-graduate Comrades... or... long term resident institutionalized Comrades, or really just anyone who thinks this makes sense to them. Do you ever feel like... I mean, did anyone else start out disliking it here and thinking that it was entirely wrong, then eventually came around to thinking that even though they weren't happy here, maybe what was happening and what the wardens were doing was something that needed to happen, and then eventually, if you started to think that it was entirely right, what was happening here, did thinking that you were doing the right thing by being here make you begin to like it?

[That probably didn't make sense, did it? Let's try again.]

I mean, what I meant to say was that... [Fffff, let's try for some context on why he's worrying here:]

Back home in the Factory I didn't really have friends. Or books, or alcohol, or hobbies, or free will. And I didn't technically get paid for my work, and everything I did was evil, but I was happy and I felt fulfilled because I believed that what I was doing was right. So, I guess what I'm saying, Comrades, is that it has come to my attention that I have a tendency to look for validation through my work and that I'm afraid I might have accidentally slipped into being blindly subservient to the Admiral because that is exactly the kind of thing that I could imagine myself doing.

I mean, it could be that I actually like it here and that I really do think that being a warden is a good thing, I'm not sure how you're supposed to tell the difference in these circumstances, Comrades.

[Private to O'Brien]

Comrade, did you know you can put alcohol in coffee?

Comments

Private

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

I don't know what Stockholm syndrome is, but sister, I was really, really unhappy here even after I became a warden. That only really changed when I began feeling sorry for Barron, and like he actually did sort of need help. So now I just feel completely fine about being here, and this is after spending two years here thinking that it was hell.

There is a direct correlation between me fulfilling the function the Admiral has assigned me, and to me being happy, and that is... it's just weird, Sister. It's too much like how I felt when I was a real Prefect.

Private

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

You might be overthinking this a little bit, Prefect. So it took you a while to get settled into a new job, and you were miserable until you found something to like about it. It happens to everybody.

Private

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

But Sister, it doesn't seem right that I should be able to go directly from: "This place has destroyed my confidence and my personality and forced me to live in a constant state of guilt."

to:

"What was done to me was good, and I am excited to be doing it to someone else."

I mean, all of the things that I used to hate about this place are still here, but I just don't care anymore. Doesn't that seem weird to you?

Private

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

Well. Sheesh. When you put it like that?

I dunno, Comrade. I pretty much haven't changed at all since I showed up here and that was almost two years ago. I shouldn't even be trying to have an opinion on the post-graduation experience.

Private

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Do you think that the Wardens and inmates are very different from each other, Sister? In terms of how bad they are?

Private

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

Kind of hard to know. I mean, define 'bad', for one thing.

Private

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

I mean... I guess what I'm saying is, that if right now, someone offered you anything in the world to rehabilitate an inmate, no one would really be able to tell the difference between you and like... I don't know. Rayne. One of the more punchy wardens. But you're still an inmate, just because that's how it is.

Private

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

I think the main difference between me and Rayne is that she punches people in the public's better interests and I punch people for kicks and a paycheck without caring all that much about the long-term outcome. I mean, if we were using violence as the good-bad metric then I'd be 'better' than a whoooole lot of Wardens.