Prefect

~~immanentize the eschation? this is why newspeak is a brilliant invention~~

You're quite a duckspeaker, aren't you, comrade?

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Comrade! Hello!

I speak with the approved voice, dialect and language of the Factory!

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Ah, yes, this 'Factory'.

Haven't you managed to develop Newspeak yet? It saves a lot of trouble.

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You have not been gone for so very long that everyone has forgotten who you are, signor.

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Newspeak? Comrade, I don't entirely comprehend what it is you're referring too, but the way I speak isn't any trouble at all.

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All that means you want us to buy things?

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Brother!

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You're missing out, comrade. It's a variant on English which abolishes unnecessary words and phrases. There's no such word as bad, for example. Just 'ungood'. And then instead of adverbs, you just add -wise, like 'speedwise' instead of quickly. There's lots of other things we've done to make the language more efficient.

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una_persson

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How long have I been gone, Comrade? ~~It felt like--~~ There was... there wasn't a calendar, but the clock, I counted--

...

...It felt like a long time.

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You have been gone from the Barge for ~~six days and~~ a little less than a week.

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I want you to embrace the loving inevitability of commerce, Comrade! What do you want, Brother? What fleeting whim goes unfulfilled? What don't you have?

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What don't I have?

Just about everything I could possibly want. I doubt you could give it to me. They aren't the kinds of things you can just buy.

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...So, Comrade, what you're saying is that your language is smaller than mine, and you think that makes it good?

Comrade, you have less than me, less is worse than more. The only word that should be removed from the dictionary is the word 'enough', and the extra space it's absence makes should be used to enlarge the entry for 'enormous'!

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Oh.

So, I guess it's probably like, I've not really been gone very much at all? ~~That's good, a week is better than--~~

Okay! So! It's been a week! That's good! Okay, Brother, how has your week been?

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Yes, comrade, but efficiency is even more important than quantity. Think of what you can control, just by eliminating certain words. Think of what you can do with that power, comrade.

To say it's constantly getting smaller, Newspeak enables a vast amount of things.

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Comrade, with enough initiative, you can buy anything, besides, if you don't have any of the things you want then I can almost certainly get you some of them! Make a list!

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Could we meet sometime to discuss it?

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Comrade, the Factory has built a palace of excess within the reassuring bars of efficiency. Why create less words for things when you can create more? When you can have seventeen words for 'need', so that you can never run out of ways to tell people what they deserve? Nineteen words for one chemical so you can slip one off and the next on whenever the fashion shifts?

Comrade, the world needs options! Nay, deserves options! And there is literally no one but the Factory who can provide them with those options. So is it not our duty to do so?

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Of course, brother! I would be more than happy to come and discuss your order with you whenever and wherever is convenient!

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It has been extremely bad. The Pavi's warden is being more of a self-righteous figlio di puttana every day and I thought that you had graduated or some such thing and gone away without telling anybody.

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What currency do people use here, or can we talk about then as well? I could make a list, a long list.

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