buywithme: (Buy nice things off me!)
[personal profile] buywithme
Comrades! Consumers! Despite beginning in a state of undue anguish, This month is a great, exciting, wonderful month! Indeed, it is in fact a month which has been set apart from all others! Comrades, join with me in celebration of February: International Grapefruit month!

Now! While traditionally this month long festival has been largely devoted towards the spreading of nutritional grapefruit information towards children and groups of people who may not be partaking of the recommended five daily portions of fruit, but do not let this deter you! For Comrades, what can we really take from the grapefruit? Nothing. It is a bitter tasting piece of fruit that might increase your life span. So what is our existence here? We're trapped, yes, we've suffered, yes, our personalities have been eroded... actually this isn't the best sales technique. It's not always easy, but Comrades, consumers, brothers and sisters we are alive! We are alive and we have all that we had before they came and all our brothers and sisters and Comrades are all still here and we all still love them and isn't it about time we showed them that?

Comrades, our tormentors are being punished, our killers are dead and although we are still here, we are here victorious! So! In place of the more traditional discussion of various nutritional values, I recommend we celebrate this fine month which has been set aside for grapefruit appreciation, with a celebration of everything the grapefruit stands for! A celebration of life, vitality, friendship, and less healthy, more delicious food!

Show friends that you care by sending them a "national grapefruit month" card!
Indulge in the traditional holiday fare of "national grapefruit month" with a delicious chocolate rice crispy cake!
Show your generosity in the ancient "exchanging of gifts" with your friends and associates!

And at some point there will of course be a huge end of National Grapefruit month gala, or something which is likely to involve music and cake!

Comrades, do not let this month of life affirming fruit appreciation slip through your fingers! Do not let it pass you bye along with so many distant memories, NO instead you must seize the month! Embrace it and it's noble traditions and spread its gentle message through the voices and means which I am selling for so little that I'm practically giving them away! So come my brothers! For he who chooses to celebrate this wonderful month is my brother! So come once more unto the breach Comrades, and buy with me today!

[ooc/disclaimer: Yes it is actually grapefruit month, no it does not have any traditions as far as I know (Prefect industriously made some up :D) and Prefect probably won't actually organize a gala. He just sort of got carried away :c]

Date: 2009-02-07 04:40 am (UTC)
acid_rayne: (Surprise)
From: [personal profile] acid_rayne
Um...

Date: 2009-02-07 05:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com
Can you honestly tell me you don't think we need some excuse to do something fun after the last month?

Date: 2009-02-07 05:19 am (UTC)
acid_rayne: (Forehead)
From: [personal profile] acid_rayne
Yeah, but... Grapefruit?

Date: 2009-02-07 05:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com
None of the special allocations made to this month seemed appropriate, and I like grapefruit.

So I went with grapefruit.

Date: 2009-02-07 05:36 am (UTC)
acid_rayne: (Speak)
From: [personal profile] acid_rayne
How about dartboards with a certain someone's picture on them, for 'Stab The Master In The Face Week'?

We can make it a holiday and everything...

Private

Date: 2009-02-07 05:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com
We could throw puppets of him into tiny death traps...

No, it's too controversial. Besides, I don't think most people want to be thinking about him right now.

Re: Private

Date: 2009-02-07 06:21 am (UTC)
acid_rayne: (Think)
From: [personal profile] acid_rayne
You sure about that?

The profit margin would be out of this world...

Private

Date: 2009-02-07 03:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com
Maybe I could... If I...

Sam would kill me.

Re: Private

Date: 2009-02-07 08:36 pm (UTC)
acid_rayne: (Smile - Predatory)
From: [personal profile] acid_rayne
Dude, think of the merchandising potential, alone!

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