buywithme: (Buy nice things off me!)
Prefect ([personal profile] buywithme) wrote2009-02-07 01:16 am

48 - Prefect is determined to have a reason to be happy

Comrades! Consumers! Despite beginning in a state of undue anguish, This month is a great, exciting, wonderful month! Indeed, it is in fact a month which has been set apart from all others! Comrades, join with me in celebration of February: International Grapefruit month!

Now! While traditionally this month long festival has been largely devoted towards the spreading of nutritional grapefruit information towards children and groups of people who may not be partaking of the recommended five daily portions of fruit, but do not let this deter you! For Comrades, what can we really take from the grapefruit? Nothing. It is a bitter tasting piece of fruit that might increase your life span. So what is our existence here? We're trapped, yes, we've suffered, yes, our personalities have been eroded... actually this isn't the best sales technique. It's not always easy, but Comrades, consumers, brothers and sisters we are alive! We are alive and we have all that we had before they came and all our brothers and sisters and Comrades are all still here and we all still love them and isn't it about time we showed them that?

Comrades, our tormentors are being punished, our killers are dead and although we are still here, we are here victorious! So! In place of the more traditional discussion of various nutritional values, I recommend we celebrate this fine month which has been set aside for grapefruit appreciation, with a celebration of everything the grapefruit stands for! A celebration of life, vitality, friendship, and less healthy, more delicious food!

Show friends that you care by sending them a "national grapefruit month" card!
Indulge in the traditional holiday fare of "national grapefruit month" with a delicious chocolate rice crispy cake!
Show your generosity in the ancient "exchanging of gifts" with your friends and associates!

And at some point there will of course be a huge end of National Grapefruit month gala, or something which is likely to involve music and cake!

Comrades, do not let this month of life affirming fruit appreciation slip through your fingers! Do not let it pass you bye along with so many distant memories, NO instead you must seize the month! Embrace it and it's noble traditions and spread its gentle message through the voices and means which I am selling for so little that I'm practically giving them away! So come my brothers! For he who chooses to celebrate this wonderful month is my brother! So come once more unto the breach Comrades, and buy with me today!

[ooc/disclaimer: Yes it is actually grapefruit month, no it does not have any traditions as far as I know (Prefect industriously made some up :D) and Prefect probably won't actually organize a gala. He just sort of got carried away :c]

[identity profile] calzonewithlegs.livejournal.com 2009-02-07 03:54 am (UTC)(link)
Ain't the boat magic, or something?

[identity profile] fathersbludgeon.livejournal.com 2009-02-07 04:01 am (UTC)(link)
So what, you're just gonna sit back and inflate?

YOU'RE TRYING HIS PATIENCE >(

[identity profile] calzonewithlegs.livejournal.com 2009-02-07 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
What, a guy can't stress eat sometimes?

[identity profile] calzonewithlegs.livejournal.com 2009-02-07 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
Watch it, Ralphie. I got my limits, y'know.

[identity profile] fathersbludgeon.livejournal.com 2009-02-07 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
If you did, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

[identity profile] calzonewithlegs.livejournal.com 2009-02-07 04:29 am (UTC)(link)
I just want a snack. What, so now my business dealings here are under scrutiny?

[identity profile] fathersbludgeon.livejournal.com 2009-02-07 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
From chauffeur to king of the crispy cakes, huh?

Nice.

Keep on climbing that ladder, Bobby. And who knows? There might be some ziti at the top!

[identity profile] calzonewithlegs.livejournal.com 2009-02-07 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
You'd be surprised how far I've come, Ralph. That's all I'm gonna say.

He wouldn't be surprised. :c He thinks lack of him = power vaccum, lolol

[identity profile] fathersbludgeon.livejournal.com 2009-02-07 04:55 am (UTC)(link)
Ahhh, I'm just fucking around.

Save me one, okay?

[identity profile] calzonewithlegs.livejournal.com 2009-02-07 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, no problem.

And here comes Libby to defend fat guys everywhere. xD

[identity profile] thatlibbychick.livejournal.com 2009-02-07 06:13 am (UTC)(link)
Hey! There's no need for that kind of talk, okay?

[identity profile] fathersbludgeon.livejournal.com 2009-02-07 12:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Was I talking to you?