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Oh The days are long and we might see red
But after you've done work, and you've been fed
For a peaceful place to rest down your head
You can't do better than a Prefect bed!
[Prefect Beds are now stocking an exciting new item! The double bed! It's like your usual single bed, only bigger! Maybe you and that special gal in your life can sleep side by side now instead of in separate beds on opposite sides of the room? This exciting new development simply appeared in John Prefects store window one day, and who is he to question it?]
But after you've done work, and you've been fed
For a peaceful place to rest down your head
You can't do better than a Prefect bed!
[Prefect Beds are now stocking an exciting new item! The double bed! It's like your usual single bed, only bigger! Maybe you and that special gal in your life can sleep side by side now instead of in separate beds on opposite sides of the room? This exciting new development simply appeared in John Prefects store window one day, and who is he to question it?]
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It does sit a little ill with me though...don't know quite what I think about having it in store...
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Besides, they're not even that much cheaper. Not enough to be worth the discomfort... unless...
Maybe some people want to spend all night bumping into each other. Or maybe like, they want to go to sleep while still...
...holding hands...
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But that's not right, John! How can you sell such a bed?!
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If they're happy, then that's still pleasant. I mean, no one's bought one yet, but, I guess if they want too then It's not my place to tell them they can't...
I just sell beds Charlie, when did that get complicated?
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Get rid of them, John.
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Wait...
...Are you telling me how to run my own business?
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But if you don't see the problem with those beds, then maybe I should, John. This is Pleasantville. This is the good life, John. Those beds are not what we need.
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Fortunately for you, no one's going to force you to buy one. But I like being able to offer people beds of a wide variety!
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You have to get rid of them. I'll help you.
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I don't think they're as bad as all that Charlie.
I want to keep on selling them.
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Think- do you really want your little girl and her new husband to spend their wedding night in one of your fancy big beds? Wouldn't you feel better knowing everything was right and they were each in their own bed?
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Also, I'm giving them two singles for their wedding present.
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I guess I've got some hard thinking to do Charlie.
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SEVERAL HOURS LATER
I think this got kinda blown outta proportion. I mean, I had a little think, and I've had a little sleep, and I really think these big beds are pretty keen! All that extra space is pretty gosh darn comfortable if I'm honest!
I'm gonna keep the beds in stock Charlie. They're nice.
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It's just people being people Charlie, there's nothing wrong with that!
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Either you stop selling those beds or I'll show you how much the good people of Pleasantville REALLY want to see a new variety of bed.
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I'll sell what I want from it, and I don't think you threatening me like this is very pleasant!
Waaaay later in the day
Prefect?
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He starts a little as Sam comes in.]
Oh! Well hey there Sam.
[His expression is still for a moment, before he breaks into a wide, professional smile.]
You thinking about buying a new bed?
And prior to Sam-- I AM SPAMMING YOU
I LOVE YOUR SPAMMING! But Alas, have company, and so? Am going to be looowww :c