Prefect is being punished for DEFAMING THE GOOD NAME OF BATS

[buywithme]

[Video clicks on, but Prefect himself is nowhere to be seen. Instead, the camera is fixed on...a bat. It's kind of a cute bat, to be honest, and it's hovvering more or less inoffensively in one place in the middle of Prefect's cabin. From it's dainty bat paws, there hangs a document which is surprisingly clearly labeled as "HOUSE DEEDS". After keeping the camera trained on it for a few minutes, Prefect whispers from behind the communicator:]

I think it's waiting for me to open the door so it can escape with those Deeds.

[Pause. Then added a bit more urgently:]

But I don't know where it got them! I don't own a house! I live in a stock room!

[Prefect does a slight pan around just in case there's any doubt about this, and... yep. His room is still full of boxes. He returns the shot to the hovering Deed thief bat. He actually sounds quite calm about this whole thing so far.]

What should I do? My room is supposed to be bat proofed, how did it get i--

[There's a sudden FLURRY OF WINGS extremely close to the camera, and the shot drops to the flood abruptly, giving a shot of Prefect shrieking and flailing at his head.

It's possible that a bat just landed in his hair. It's almost certainly pooping.]

[Added Later]

Do we have any rabies medication in the infirmary?

Comments

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

...

[Sorry Prefect, there is no loyalty in ENDLESS LULZ.]

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

[From off camera, beneath the sound of running water.]

Not funny!

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure that whoever the bat gives those deeds to gets the legal right to live in your cabin.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

I'm quite certain my cabin doesn't have deeds. They're probably to someone else's house.

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

Why would the deeds to somebody else's house be in your room, comrade? That sounds kinda delusional. [GASP.] Maybe it's the rabies.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

I do not have rabies!

[He's back on screen now, dripping with water and with a bat still sitting in his hair. But after making this bold, non-rabid declaration, a thought occurs to him.]

Actually, maybe I do... I should contact the infirmary.

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

As far as I know it'd have to actually bite you first.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

He might have bit me! I can feel his little claws!

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

Prefect, you're like a hundred times bigger than he is. As long as the little claws aren't digging into your skin, it's not a big deal. Just -- don't bug him and he won't give you rabies.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

But I don't want to use my size advantage to hurt him, and biting me won't give him any deadly diseases.

[But that said, he is kind of holding still now, he doesn't wanna provoke the bat anymore.]

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

....comrade, do you think the bat knows that?

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

It might.

[It... probably doesn't.]

Have you been affected by the flood, Sister?

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

Assuming that this is a 'poetic irony' flood like I think it is? Yeah.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

Why? What's happening to you, Sister?

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

There's three hundred thousand dollars missing from my closet.

[buywithme.livejournal.com]

I...

[Pause]

Well that seems like a disproportionately large thing to lose for a flood.

[gotgreenmagic.livejournal.com]

It's not like it's worth anything much on the Barge. Compared to losing, like, my entire sense of self, three hundred grand isn't bad.