buywithme: (Shocked)
Prefect ([personal profile] buywithme) wrote2010-10-08 01:53 am

Video - Pissy prefect is pissy ALSO, he might be lovely to wardens in the comments :c

Comrades, Consumers!

Frustrated by your workload as a warden? Annoyed by your inmates stubborn refusal to accept and embrace your moral directives? Sick of the ports, floods, and death tolling? Comrades, do not be disheartened! For Wardens in your position there are a wealth of options all available for a very reasonable price!

[He spreads his hands wide open, and gives one of those totally fake dazzling smiles that he's so good at.]

Our first, and most popular package deal is most appropriate for those of you still driven by the self interest of acquiring the promised reward of the Admiral! It comes with easy application, can be suited to even the most hectic of lifestyles, and many wardens have already adopted it into their program of inmate rehabilitation! It's simple:

Continue to act as though you're better than we are, while you simply stop caring! Stop responding! Ignore every problem as someone else's problem. Fellow warden having a breakdown? Ignore them! Inmate who you're not assigned to asks for help? Ignore them! Violent inmate publicly declares his intent to attack someone while roaming the halls looking for that person?

Ignore them all!

All this package costs is the well being and trust of the inmate population, and the mutual respect and consideration for each other that you're supposed to be teaching us, and Comrades, frankly I'm doing you a favor by taking those obstacles to a happier, calmer life off your hands!

But that's not all, for those of you so diametrically opposed to a life of responsibility that even this deal doesn't sound sufficient, The Factory does of course have an alternative! The price for this is slightly steeper, as it will impact upon your overall net earnings from your time on the Barge, but Brothers, Sisters, when it gets to the point where inmates are protecting each other and looking out for the wellfare of wardens not because they are reformed, but because you are not doing your jobs? Well, it's not as if you're likely to earn that deal on your own anyway! So we at the Factory would like to present an ongoing open offer to all wardens, application effective immediately:

[And the grin just drops away entirely, you get that CREEPY, COLD, DEAD EYED STARE HE USED TO TURN ON SAM WHEN HE WANTED TO BE LEFT ALONE]

Leave.

[identity profile] yeehawkiller.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
I do engage in amature theatre now an' again! What a prime and well formed observation. Did you go to community college or somewhat?

Private

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
[Pause. And now you get the MOST AWKWARD COMMENT. I'm so sorry, Sveta.]

I begged him not to kill me. I said, that I'd stop posting, that I wouldn't leave my room, that he'd never even have to see me if it would stop him from killing me. And if he had? Sam isn't here. I would have just stayed dead.

[He hesitates for a moment, then finally goes with what he's thinking:]

I know it's not your job to protect me. It's not anyone's job here to protect me, but--

[You get another pause. Why did Sam have to leave? Why did the Borg Queen have to arrive? Why is the Marquis going crazy and why did the totalitarian torturer end up being the only one coming to his rescue? When he finishes, he sounds just... majorly upset.]

Did you even notice?

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:30 am (UTC)(link)
And there's something that the Wardens have an excellent track record for.

[identity profile] ichoosefight.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
So I've heard. Does that redeem me at all?

He didn't actually hurt you, did he?
Edited 2010-10-08 03:40 (UTC)

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
Then go. Rest. Do nothing, Comrade.

Sam Tyler. He's away right now.
empirical_data: (incredulous)

[personal profile] empirical_data 2010-10-08 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
[He's ignoring that part.] Was another warden asked to assume responsibility in his absence?

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
Comrade, do you have any idea how many wardens come back later as inmates?

I've been here long enough to see quite a few. Taking the job doesn't make you a good person.

Private

[identity profile] greatlightother.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
Oh god, comrade, I'm so sorry. I...

Prefect, after the week that I've had...I wouldn't have even noticed if the Barge caught fire around me.

That is about me. I...should have paid more attention. I'm so sorry.

[identity profile] last-kodiak.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
I never claimed to be a good person.

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:42 am (UTC)(link)
You need a warden to restore you in order to qualify for the death toll. Mine is gone, and-- [sigh] I no longer believe that any others would have noticed.

[Pausing now though, because he doesn't want to be as depressed as he is right now, and you just gave him something else to poke at.]

Who's your inmate, Comrade?
toldastory: (dress far away)

[personal profile] toldastory 2010-10-08 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
Data, calm down, yeah? It's alright.

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
No. I'm-- [little sigh] I am persistently non-violent, and Sam leaves quite frequently. Assigning me an interim warden every time he did so would be an inefficient use of resources.
toldastory: (hands folded)

[personal profile] toldastory 2010-10-08 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
Prefect, I would restore any and all inmates who came in and weren't restored by their wardens as I have in the past. I do hope you know that.
cisskabob: (Sad and Quiet)

YOU MAKE CISSIE SAD, PREFECT.

[personal profile] cisskabob 2010-10-08 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
Prefect...
championoftime: (7 - do not want!)

[personal profile] championoftime 2010-10-08 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
We would have, but that's the problem with speaking with only inmates. You get the impression that the wardens are all out to get you. If you've noticed, there's a rather large influx of violent individuals and other distractions recently. Well, now that we've been introduced you can call upon me. I'm more resourceful than I look at first glance.

It's the Joker. The charming fellow in the make up and the carved in grin.

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
No, Comrade, I was exhaustively trained for a single function since I was a small child. I'm sure you had a much more broad and fulfilling upbringing!

[identity profile] doctor-scarf.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
It sounds like someone needs a nice glass of tea and someone to talk to.
empirical_data: (disappointed)

[personal profile] empirical_data 2010-10-08 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
As you mentioned, there's an excess of inmates. I suppose it does not matter so long as someone capable is now monitoring.

Private

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
Can I come to your cabin, Brother?
with_discipline: (If things were different)

[personal profile] with_discipline 2010-10-08 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
Do you believe the barge would function better if all the wardens left?

Re: Private

[identity profile] equalsfive.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, comrade.
empirical_data: (looking up)

[personal profile] empirical_data 2010-10-08 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
Martha, I don't understand why I'm feeling so hurt by this.

[And you can tell he is, because he's using contractions.]

[identity profile] yeehawkiller.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
Had the best parents a punk kid like me could ever get. Taught me everythin' I know. But, pardner, yeehaw! No, wonder you is the way you are. A pro-di-gy you are. Were.

Is.

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
Comrade, you're under the impression that I speak only to inmates. I don't think the Wardens are out to get me, I just think that they don't care. Thank you, though.

The Joker? Comrade, I'm not sure how much of his affection is healthy.

FLOOD IS GO FOR MARTHA. She offended him more than anyone else by talking to Data before him.

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2010-10-08 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
Of course. I have full faith in your intentions.

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