Perhaps a start would be to make the decision that because it is wrong, you wouldn't do it again? And that you don't want to do it again. Saying that you'd probably repeat it, is just like saying that there's no point in trying to change, and it's a stance that really doesn't hold up here, Comrade.

Maybe you would do it again, but if that's so, let it be because your emotion overrides your morals and reason. Don't go into any situation expecting to do this.

What could it have to do with torture?