ATTENTION ALL STUPID SMELLY PIRATE JERKS. Oh, and Naval Officers.

[buywithme]

[Video clicks on, and say hello to your friendly neighborhood hostaged Commodore. Prefect is slumped, shirtless against the stone wall of his cell, his expression is tired and irritable. He's a little scuffed, and there are bruises climbing up his chest, but as he begins to broadcast, you can see him force himself to straighten up, so that he can deliver his daily bitching session with an air of authority and professionalism.]

This is Commodore Prefect of His Majesty's Royal Naval Forces, calling all officers who are yet to join the cowardice hoard here in their treachery to the crown.

Myself and First Lieutenant Pendragon are now entering the hundred and twelfth day of our imprisonment here. Spirits are high, and neither one of us have swerved in our loyalty to his majesty, or our certainty that God, and right shall deliver us from this ugly circumstance.

[His expression slips slightly, and there's a hint of a glare coming through as he continues:]

It is in that spirit that I wish to add to the list of charges which I have recorded thus-far, to be pressed against the inhabitants of this vipers nest, when they are brought before the hand of the English courts and to the satisfaction of the just.

Two days ago, as Lieutenant Pendragon and I commandeered a vessel for the departure from this island, we were waylaid by two men known to be in the employ of Captain Reaver, known locally by the names "Black-Eye Dan" and "Fists McCall". Both men struck at us, and while alone we easily outmatched them, it did not take long for them to enlist the aid of the local mob, and we were swarmed by collaborators before we were able to depart.

[He's looking progressively embittered at this point, like even saying all of this is leaving a bad taste in his mouth.]

I have added the names of those guilty of colluding with our captors to the list [The list which he has been compiling since his arrival, which has the name of almost everyone in the port on it by now, which he updates every few days just so you know that you're on it.] In addition to the names of several local criminals who we have witnessed operating from the confines of our imprisonment.

The only men here more worthy of the noose than these scurrilous curs, are those deserters who come here, shed of their colours and entrenching themselves as deeply in the crimes this place as any other man! They are the shame of His Majesties Navy, and I name them too! I've much hope that you and I, oh last and loyal men, shall carry them to court martial, and to pay in blood for their cowardice, and their treachery!

[He ends in a pissy little snarl, before clicking off the video. Once the broadcast is finished, the text function scrolls down the communicators face, with a long, long list of the people Prefect is eventually planning on hanging. Feel free to assume that your character's name is on there.

It may go without saying that he makes these broadcasts frequently, and that they're only superficially intended for loyal Naval Officers. They're more like a giant, petty, ongoing fuck you to the pirates and inhabitants of Barcaza.

The cell (housing both Prefect and Arthur) is literally built into the corner of a building, and open to the street and passers by, so feel free to spam!]

Comments

[tatty_bye]

[Scoff!]

Such a charmer. Tis' a wonder no one has come to fetch you home yet.

Video

[gotgreenmagic]

[Sherry is in a room at an inn somewhere, sorting through various goods that have obviously been acquired through some manner of malfeasance. Normally she would use voice but LOOK, PREFECT. LOOK AT ALL THE CRIME THAT'S HAPPENING.]

Carry us to court martial, you say?

I think that might take more than the two of you. And a reeaaallly big wheelbarrow. And for you to be capable of doing something other than sitting on your rear end for one hundred and twelve days.

[with_my_teacup]

[The voice on the comm could be from anywhere, or nowhere. This is what happens when a boy grows up speaking Swahili and pidgin dutch and picks up English from a multinational crew of no-goodniks. Then learns Latin from an Irishman.]

Brother, your plight saddens me and I will do what I can to see you freed. But I beg in the meantime, do not give way to anger. Like milk in the sun, wrath curdles into despair. Forgive these your countrymen: you cannot know what strange winds and tides brought them here.

[ichoosefight]

Oh joy.

Who let the riff-raff in?

[tooscaredtoask]

Someone's feeling a bit confident today, isn't he.

Video

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[A scruffy and clearly piratical man with a parrot on his shoulder blinks at Commodore Prefect's distress. The parrot says:]

Caw! The lady doth protest.

spam

[onceandfutureprat]

"Here we go again." [He knows the speech. He is bored of the speech.]

Video

[agonybooth]

[Malcolm's just going to look somewhat amused at the communication before he looks away and gets slightly distracted by making small explosives.]

You're going on still? I would have thought you'd tire of listing all our crimes as often as you have. Perhaps our dear Commodore is too in love with his voice to care of the subject in which he speaks about.

It is rather amusing that it is you and your companion, the loyal officers of the Royal Navy, who are the ones imprisoned while us deserters and criminals are free to do as we wish. Though I sincerely doubt it is quite as amusing for you than it is for myself.

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narv Smith, local common thief, passed by the handsome Commodore's cell every day. Somewhere around day fifteen of the navy men's imprisonment, Narv had decided that the Commodore was very handsome indeed and started spending a few minutes each evening lurking by his cell and offering pilfered gewgaws that he thought might be the sort of thing to interest a fine man like the Commodore, and occasionally bits of extra food.]

Good eve' sir. [He tapped his forehead where the brow of a hat would be if he were the sort to wear a hat in public like a proper gentleman.] I got something for you.

[Private]

[sharpememory]

I see that I'm still on your list to be hung, sir.

I had assumed that I was no longer within your notice, given your preference to give chase to Captain Seabeard over my own self.

[Private]

[doctor_j_crane]

A fine list indeed! Good sir, the shame in this den of iniquity falls heavily on the shoulders of many. I seek to secure your rescue, but my crew is lacking. Many a man has found weakness in his heart and run to the whores.

Spam

[darknessb4me]

Commodore.

[The Traitor Captain perhaps isn't recognizable on sight but for the fact that he's in a tattered Royal Navy uniform on the other side of the bars.]

How did you come to be in this sorry state?