buywithme: (Comrade)
[Prefect clicks on his video, and he's clearly relaxing. He's sitting in a small, neat cafe, with an expensive looking coffee in front of him. His hands are clean, but the cuffs of his sleeves are ringed with blood.]

Friends, three days ago, I thought that your claiming ignorance was just a coordinated attempt to get out of having to pay your debts, and while I believe taking that course of action to be irresponsible and futile, It's a very understandable motivation. [He taps the side of his coffee cup and frowns.] There's a difference, however, between trying to save your own life, and trying to attack the foundations of a company which does good. A company to which, need I remind you, we all owe our lives!

Let me ask you all something: Do you think organs grow on trees? Do you think that they fall out of the sky? Do you think that GeneCo is able to produce them magically and with no personal financial expenditure? Do you think that the surgeons who do the work can afford to live without payment?

Now I am sorry that you've all found yourselves in this position. I'm sorry, that we all get sick, and I'm sorry that there is no magical solution where organs appear out of thin air, and cost nothing. That isn't the world we live in though. Other people still need treatment, and when you refuse to pay your debts, and try to get away without returning what is GeneCo's property? Those are the people who suffer, because GeneCo can't afford to give them the organs they need at the prices they can manage to pay. Without us? They die. They all die.

[He takes a long drink of his coffee, emptying the cup before raising to his feet.]

GeneCo saved us. Rotti Largo, the man who cured the world, looked down upon our failing bodies and recreated them in his own image! You might be angry and you might be upset, but this company reached into the jaws of death and lifted us up, from damnation to something beyond and better than humanity! GeneCo did this for each and every one of us, and the world we live in now is built upon the back of their labour! When each and every one of you signed your contracts you embraced your role as a part of this world! You accepted the salvation which GeneCo offered, and you entered into a covenant to repay them for it. Friends, if you are unable or unwilling to do that then it is you who has broken your oath, not them.

[There's a dreamy, romantic quality in his eyes now, and the pseudo religious tone which has crept into his tone is familiar to anyone who's known him for long. It's the way he used to talk about the Factory.]

You have to understand that without GeneCo, society as we know it ceases to exist. Humanity ceases to exist. There are no other options, there is no other way, this is the path drawn out by destiny, evolution, and existence, mapped out and led by the great guiding hand of the Largo family! Deviation from it leads only to the true end of history. So friends, brothers, do not be afraid. Yes we are coming for you, and yes you will die, but the heart that beats within you now will live on, and prolong the life of another. Your body will strengthen the foundations of Sanitarium Island, and your legacy will be the continuation of GeneCo and the continuation of the human race!

[His eyes are sparkling with a spiritual fervor, and he smiles as he steps to the door of the Cafe.]

You should be grateful, Friends. You should rejoice, for the service that you do to your fellow customers! [He pushes the door open, still talking as he steps through. The paneled hallways of the Barge come into view behind him.] For though we are but tiny cogs within the great machine, Comrades, know that every death, every sacrifice, and every payment made is made for the eternal glory and power of The Factory! Beyond all ashes and dust and stretching out to the furthest reaches of infinity! Comrades! Consumers--

[And that's when he catches himself. Prefect falters, looking momentarily confused, before glancing down to his blood drenched sleeves.

His hands shake, as he ends the feed abruptly.]
buywithme: (un-fake smile)
[Video clicks on, annnnd yes, Prefect is still sitting at Barron's bedside in the infirmary. There's a small pile of Prefect-y posessions now flanking the bed, and an additional blanket folded over the end of Barron's bed. Because apparently he's just living here now.

There is a string of little hearts which have been cut out from some pink paper and which are now dangling across the top of Barron's bedboard, at least two blatantly home made valentines day cards sitting on his bedside table, and a very small, potted rosebush next to these. Prefect is staring at the Camera with an attentiveness which is clearly seasonal.]

Comrades! Con-- ah, Brothers and Sisters! I'm sure that you are all aware that it is again the time of year in which it is seasonally appropriate to shower one another with expressions of affection across all degrees of sincerity an insincerity! To reach out, and shamelessly distribute tokens representative of a degree of emotional fealty which it is impossible for you to guarantee will actually last, and to do so without hesitation! To linger not upon the possibility of outgrowing one another or making yourself look unsophisticated, but rather to charge forward blindly into overblown expressions of affection!

[He punches the air as he finishes this short tirade, and his eyes shine with a cheerful sincerity. IDK if you know this, but Prefect fucking loves Valentines day, guys.]

Now normally, Comrades, I would try and encourage you to purchase items either from me or from one another, to express the depths of your emotions towards your beloved, however: [He lifts his hands, because this is serious business and this year he will not try to sell you things!] I am a warden now, and It is my responsibility to attempt to not be evil, and control my consumerist instincts, so instead, I am going to suggest and demonstrate a number of things which you can do to express the depths of your love, which will cost you nothing but time and effort and resources.

Cut because god damn these Valentines day posts get longer every year. )

[Private to Nathan Petrelli]

Do you like valenti--

Has anyone brought you a rosebu--

I made you a ca--

Do you like pink champa--


By the way, Comrade, has anyone shown you around the warden areas yet?
buywithme: (Shocked)
Comrades, Consumers!

Frustrated by your workload as a warden? Annoyed by your inmates stubborn refusal to accept and embrace your moral directives? Sick of the ports, floods, and death tolling? Comrades, do not be disheartened! For Wardens in your position there are a wealth of options all available for a very reasonable price!

[He spreads his hands wide open, and gives one of those totally fake dazzling smiles that he's so good at.]

Our first, and most popular package deal is most appropriate for those of you still driven by the self interest of acquiring the promised reward of the Admiral! It comes with easy application, can be suited to even the most hectic of lifestyles, and many wardens have already adopted it into their program of inmate rehabilitation! It's simple:

Continue to act as though you're better than we are, while you simply stop caring! Stop responding! Ignore every problem as someone else's problem. Fellow warden having a breakdown? Ignore them! Inmate who you're not assigned to asks for help? Ignore them! Violent inmate publicly declares his intent to attack someone while roaming the halls looking for that person?

Ignore them all!

All this package costs is the well being and trust of the inmate population, and the mutual respect and consideration for each other that you're supposed to be teaching us, and Comrades, frankly I'm doing you a favor by taking those obstacles to a happier, calmer life off your hands!

But that's not all, for those of you so diametrically opposed to a life of responsibility that even this deal doesn't sound sufficient, The Factory does of course have an alternative! The price for this is slightly steeper, as it will impact upon your overall net earnings from your time on the Barge, but Brothers, Sisters, when it gets to the point where inmates are protecting each other and looking out for the wellfare of wardens not because they are reformed, but because you are not doing your jobs? Well, it's not as if you're likely to earn that deal on your own anyway! So we at the Factory would like to present an ongoing open offer to all wardens, application effective immediately:

[And the grin just drops away entirely, you get that CREEPY, COLD, DEAD EYED STARE HE USED TO TURN ON SAM WHEN HE WANTED TO BE LEFT ALONE]

buywithme: (Perhaps you'd like to invest instead?)
Comrades! You're missing the point of this! Now at last can one of the most illustrious and well established pieces of barge Canon finally be confirmed or denied!

Doctor, In Re: 'The Masters Penis', it is the equivalent in size too:

a) A darning needle

b) A spool of yarn

c) A Bobbin.
buywithme: (Buy nice things off me!)
Comrades! Consumers! Despite beginning in a state of undue anguish, This month is a great, exciting, wonderful month! Indeed, it is in fact a month which has been set apart from all others! Comrades, join with me in celebration of February: International Grapefruit month!

Now! While traditionally this month long festival has been largely devoted towards the spreading of nutritional grapefruit information towards children and groups of people who may not be partaking of the recommended five daily portions of fruit, but do not let this deter you! For Comrades, what can we really take from the grapefruit? Nothing. It is a bitter tasting piece of fruit that might increase your life span. So what is our existence here? We're trapped, yes, we've suffered, yes, our personalities have been eroded... actually this isn't the best sales technique. It's not always easy, but Comrades, consumers, brothers and sisters we are alive! We are alive and we have all that we had before they came and all our brothers and sisters and Comrades are all still here and we all still love them and isn't it about time we showed them that?

Comrades, our tormentors are being punished, our killers are dead and although we are still here, we are here victorious! So! In place of the more traditional discussion of various nutritional values, I recommend we celebrate this fine month which has been set aside for grapefruit appreciation, with a celebration of everything the grapefruit stands for! A celebration of life, vitality, friendship, and less healthy, more delicious food!

Show friends that you care by sending them a "national grapefruit month" card!
Indulge in the traditional holiday fare of "national grapefruit month" with a delicious chocolate rice crispy cake!
Show your generosity in the ancient "exchanging of gifts" with your friends and associates!

And at some point there will of course be a huge end of National Grapefruit month gala, or something which is likely to involve music and cake!

Comrades, do not let this month of life affirming fruit appreciation slip through your fingers! Do not let it pass you bye along with so many distant memories, NO instead you must seize the month! Embrace it and it's noble traditions and spread its gentle message through the voices and means which I am selling for so little that I'm practically giving them away! So come my brothers! For he who chooses to celebrate this wonderful month is my brother! So come once more unto the breach Comrades, and buy with me today!

[ooc/disclaimer: Yes it is actually grapefruit month, no it does not have any traditions as far as I know (Prefect industriously made some up :D) and Prefect probably won't actually organize a gala. He just sort of got carried away :c]
buywithme: (Could it be I am a bad person?)
...We've gone from deathtraps and poison gas and becoming five year olds to everything being back to normal and a few people in prison? And having our journals monitored?

Why is everyone acting like these are our enemies? Comrades, we don't know who they are, and they've made things less deadly! I haven't had to ask for my Warden to be brought back to life ONCE since they arrived!

I think they're helping us...
buywithme: (Default)

The Vampires are out now, what happened to no one being left on their own. I mean, I've barricaded my door, so I don't think I'm in any trouble, but It would be nice to have some consistency in your random decisions on how the barge should be run.

After ten minutes or so this is added:

Sam, the Admiral gave me a pile of gunpowder, and I'm giving wardens a ten percent discount, because as a collective you're more desperate and unprofessional and you'll probably need it more.

After another ten minutes:

Are you ignoring me? You do realize this is your job Comrade? Just because you're paranoid and don't appreciate the financial benefits that this could open up to me isn't an excuse for you to shirk your duty as a laborer in the service of this organization!

At long last:


Are you dead?


Master, if Sam is dead could you bring him back to life please? If you don't then this is an entire page of unnecessarily expended effort on my part.
buywithme: (you don't want to buy things?)
[Upon reading Adams post about the marshmallows? Prefect has run down to the kitchen and hoarded a bunch of non-perishable food. It is now hidden in his various boxes. He's distributed his theft evenly so it probably won't be apparent for a week or two, but food might get scarce a little quicker!]

Dear Admiral,

The staff unionized didn't they?

Ugh, what is it with workers and unionizing?
buywithme: (victimflood)
I want to go home. I want to be with the things I love again.
I know what you think when you see me, you think I'm weird,
You think that because I chose obedience that means I don't deserve freedom
You think no one'll miss me, you think there's no one too miss me,
Just some big, empty place full of regulations and products and nothing else.
Or maybe that's all I am, empty space full of regulations.

But you have your own damn regulations! Someone else made all of yours as well, and you still follow them just as diligently, because if you didn't then you might have less conviction when you dismiss mine.

When you dismiss me.

Professionalism does not negate humanity! I belong to the Factory, I chose the Factory, I love the Factory!

And just because you don't think it should be here doesn't mean I will stop carrying it with me. Just because you don't understand it or me, doesn't mean that I will ever change. Even if you hate me for it.

I think this flood is worse than I thought it was.

OOC: Prefect wrote this, looked at it, went: "WTH?" and scribbled it all out rightquick! You can pick out bits of it if your character wants to look hard, but no one can get a full reading of it due to some crazyscribbling!
buywithme: (Could it be I am a bad person?)
"If you're stuck here, why not make it interesting?"

We're on a magic boat that floats in between universes full of crazy people and murderers, how is this not interesting enough?
buywithme: (Default)
Ugh! That was...

...Look, anyone who I allowed to touch me, pet me, or feed me during this flood? I'd just like to make it clear that I never ever ever want any of you to do any of these things ever again!

That was awful.

I was far too happy about being completely functionless...
buywithme: (Default)
[Prefect has begun the process of asking people to the prom based on whether or not they seem like they have trouble saying no to people]

Miss Giselle?

Would it be all right with you if I could have the honor of taking you to the prom please?

I know this is a little short notice, but It took a while for me to work up the courage to talk to you.

You... you don't have a date already do you?
buywithme: (Default)
Hey, I don't know if any of you know, but I offer a tutoring service that's proved to be really effective with some of the people I've worked for, and, well, as we're all friends here, so no charge for anyone struggling with their work right now if you're interested.

I mean, we don't want anyone to have to miss the dance over grades do we?
buywithme: (Default)
Comrades! Brothers! Sisters! Brothers who are sisters and sisters who were brothers! I know you're all secretly loving this! In regards of the sudden and spectacular rearranging of our needs, I would like to let you all know that for the next day I will be selling feminine hygiene products and masturbatory aides at a price that is practically GIVING THEM AWAY!

This may never happen again, never before have I said "seize the day" and meant it so very much!
[Filtered from The Master]

One week only special offer on packaging tape, screwdrivers, industrial lubricant and bobbins of all shapes and sizes!

For those of you currently feeling "inspired".


buywithme: (Default)

October 2013



RSS Atom

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 24th, 2017 03:08 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios