buywithme: (gorgon lol)
[Dotted throughout the forest, you might find some rather unusual statues, for an island unpopulated by humankind. There are small ones, of the native flora and fauna, tiny sculptures of dainty marsupials, or pieces of carefully carved fruit dropped at the feet of certain trees.

More noticable though, are the sculptures of men! Some weathered down to the point of being almost featureless, wile others, preserved by their landscape, clean and crisp as the day they were carved, every detail on their naval uniforms picked out perfectly.

In one particular clearing there's a cluster of them sitting together in a circle, as if they're huddling around a campfire that isn't there. These three are smiling, holding perfectly carved food and ale, and all turned to look in a single direction. If you stand where they're staring, it's almost as if they're welcoming you to join them. Another is frozen mid step, his arms spread wide and expression wide and happy, as if greeting a beloved brother.

Most of the statues are like these ones, their uniforms are perfect. They are well kempt and healthy looking. They are happy to see you.

There are others where the men look surprised, or shaken. As if caught unawares. They usually look a little more bedraggled. Hungrier, and more huddled.

In a few of the statues, the men look truly frightened. Where their clothes are torn or gone completely, where stone tears are frozen on their stone faces, wrought in anguish. But only a few.

After all, not many of them survived long enough to even know that there was something to fear.

Prefect picks his way through the maze of jungle, stumbling between trees and trudging through ditches, with his eyes shut. He's shirtless, but his ragged trousers are black and stiff. The formal wear of a naval officer. He uses the statues as landmarks to direct himself to certain trees and bushes that bear fruit, then digs blindly through the foliage for something to eat.

He doesn't open his eyes.]


Anyway, Prefect is the Midshipman of a naval vessel that was shipwrecked here over a year ago. The night they landed he was cursed by one of the local monstrosities, so that every living thing he turned his gaze upon turned to stone. (Apart from grass and trees. Deal with it.)

Slowly but surely, he turned his entire crew to stone. Since then he's shedded his shirt and jacket to make blindfolds, but the island's inhabitants always steal them, and he's had a couple of goes at poking his eyes out (they grow back). Eventually he resigned himself to staggering around the island with his eyes closed, being terrorized by the natives and grieving for his lost Comrades. Feel free to assume cr, either from TORMENTING ISLAND CREATURES, or WHAT HO DIDN'T WE SERVE ON THE MAGNANIMOUS TOGETHER, from naval types.]
buywithme: (Merman 1)
[Video clicks on, and look! It's filming a devastatingly handsome young man, as he whispers something in a girls ear. She slides her arm around his waist, leans forward, and they kiss, deeply. The camera wobbles, and it's clear that whoever's filming them probably isn't... supposed to be filming them.]

I did that. I gave him that. My god he was so tragic before I kindly intervened, just some poor unfortunate soul who could barely say his own name without stuttering. Now look at him.

[There's a fond sigh from behind the communicator.]

He has everything he wanted, and I think in this case I was especially generous in the deal I offered. What I asked for was completely useless to him...

[And now the camera swivels back around to Prefect. He's a senior, seventeen and looking quite a bit older by now, and although his legs are currently in... leg form, rather than fin form, there are still scales creeping up his neck, identifying him as not quite human. Currently he's sitting on the grass, quite near to the greenery of the forest.]

We all have problems, don't we. Him, perhaps more than most, but there's something for everyone. Worried about your grades? Have a problem with a teacher? Have a problem with a student? I myself happen to love solving problems. [He rolls over, sprawling onto his back in a rolling, squamous gesture that might have a hint of the tide about it.] I like using my talents to help people. The miserable, lonely, and depressed. Never feel ashamed, dear friends. Never doubt that I am here for you.

[Then he smiles, wide and bright and possibly not entirely genuine.] Do you want to see what he gave me? In exchange for confidence and good looks? [He pushes his shirt up, in one quick motion, and points the camera at his chest.] Ta-Da! See, he was never going to use them for anything and I was getting tired of being the only one who didn't have a set of my own... so...

[The camera focuses, and Prefect's free hand is now pointing at one of his nipples. Yes. Really.]

Even though they're purely decorative, you mammals all seem to think very highly of them, and they were pretty much the only thing he actually had going for him before I intervened, so...

[Shrug. Seems like a pretty generous deal to him.]

[ooc: Prefect is the son of a sea witch (thing Ursula from The Little Mermaid) and he's got a reputation for specializing in transformation magic, love spells, fairy tale bullshit, and a love for bartering, deal making, and contracts. Right now he's lounging around on the grass near the edge of the grounds, feel free to spam if you'd prefer <3]
buywithme: (COWBOYPREFECT)
[The camera clicks on with a jolt, and it's clearly night time. The only light comes from a nearby street lamp, but it's enough to illuminate what dastardly crimes are afoot here! The recording is an extreme close up angle, which manages to show the front window of one of the towns main supermarkets, the front of a dark jacket being worn by whoever's carrying the camera, and a gloved hand holding a can of black spray paint.

The hand shakes the can hard, before lifting it to begin spraying a line along the front window of the shopping center, the man holding the camera begins to walk, drawing the line out as he does so. He walks for probably a good ten seconds, continuing the thick black line for some time, before he reaches the shopping center's automatic doors. It is at this point that he reveals the true intent of the line, as he finishes it off by curving it around into the head of an extremely long penis.

The head completed, he switches his angle so that he's facing the wall head on, before beginning the second half of the penis, another long line, parallel to the first. He continues to the beginning of the first line, before finishing it off, with a flourish of lazily drawn testicles.

There's a moment of hesitation then, as the bearer of the can considers what to do next, before eventually scribbling over one of the adverts pressed against the glass of the supermarket window: "SPECIAL OFFER! ONLY $1.95!"

Banksy, eat your heart out.]

[ooc: John Kirk's a juvenile delinquent, brother to Bones and Carla, and acting out because DADDY KIRK WHY DID YOU LEAVE US? Sadly, he used to be a really nice kid, he was even the SCHOOL PREFECT FOR YEARS (herp derp see what I did there?) Feel free to hit him up with spam or comments <3]
buywithme: (COWBOYPREFECT)
[Video clicks on, and HELLO THERE, It's SHERIFF PREFECT! He's got a hat, and a badge, and a gun, and they're all in shot. Yeah, he wants you to know it.]

It's come to my attention that we got a few new faces recently come into town. Now, I ain't doubting that the most of you are just decent, law abiding folk who I hope to come to know as fellow citizens of this fair camp. I just wanna take the chance to say howdy to Y'all, and make myself known. The name's John Prefect, and round these parts I am the law. Now, y'all have chosen a pretty rough and tumble place to come rest your boots here, but the people are decent, and you got any problems, I would humbly fuckin' urge you to bring to me or one'a my deputies.

'cept maybe that good for nothing sonuvabitch Frankie.


Now, y'all good and decent folk can just cast your eyes elsewhere for this next part:

Attention shitkickers, rabble rousers, and alla them who're lacking in a sense of civil fuckin' decency. I just wanna make one thing clear:

This is my town. You try to fuck it? And I will fuck you, son. You are in the South now, worse shit than you even knew existed has rolled through here, and the Law has stayed the Law. My job will get done. So before you make the biggest mistake'a your life and walk into this town thinkin' that you can cross us here? You best take the time to ponder how you wanna be makin' your exit. Get lucky and it'll be pickin' up your teeth? Get unlucky, and it'll be in a wooden box.

Y'all got the chance of a fresh start comin' here. Don't waste it.

[And with a nod to the Camera, Sheriff Prefect reaches forward, and clicks off.]

[ooc: Feel free to spam him with reports of crime, or CRIMINAL VILLAINY, or just... lazy good ol' boy hanging out in the sheriff's office!]


buywithme: (Default)

October 2013



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