buywithme: (facepalm)
[personal profile] buywithme
What would you do if your inmate vanished tomorrow?

[This comes pretty much out of the blue, after a LONG PERIOD OF RADIO SILENCE from Prefect. Yep, truth flood forced him out.]

Last time Barron was in a coma, I just... I thought if I behaved as if he was definitely going to wake up then he definitely would. This time-- It's been months, and I don't know why I'm even here if I can't help him. If I can't help him, if after everything we've done, he just vanishes now, then every second I've spent here has been worthless. Because really, one person turning from bad to good at the end of their life doesn't actually bring any objective improvement to the universe. I'm already dead. I've already done my damage.

If I don't help someone to graduate, then I don't earn my deal with the Admiral, and I can't change anything. [There's a long intake of breath, then he lets it out.] But if he disappears-- Comrades, I can't even imagine being able to care this much about anyone else again. I'm a graduate, so I have the choice to ask the Admiral to send me anywhere in the universe to start over. Right now... I'm afraid that Barron is going to disappear, and all I can think to do when he's gone is ask the Admiral to send me after him. Wherever that takes me.

Date: 2013-02-02 05:01 am (UTC)
most_feared: (k - gun draw)
From: [personal profile] most_feared
[Wow, Prefect.... Wow.]

He uh...

He's still here, and people come back. Even after bein' gone a while. I think you'll be alright. Until then, even watchin' over someone you're worried about can be tough.

[He's trying to give support, anyway.]

Date: 2013-02-03 07:17 am (UTC)
most_feared: (k - wtf?)
From: [personal profile] most_feared
I know this might sound awful, but I don't think things always happen for a reason. There's just what you can make it mean.

There's been a few killings. He's not been caught in any of those while he's out. He's not hungry, he's not hurtin', he's not ashamed or embarrassed. He's just restin' and you're right there waiting.

Date: 2013-02-02 06:36 am (UTC)
canfindrope: http://quiet-pbs.livejournal.com/2438.html (on that note...)
From: [personal profile] canfindrope
I'd be glad if mine went. I don't think it's the same, though.

I'm sorry.

Date: 2013-02-05 09:23 am (UTC)
canfindrope: http://quiet-pbs.livejournal.com/2438.html (caught off guard)
From: [personal profile] canfindrope
[She seems surprised by the question.]

Because she's horrible. She abuses everyone.

Date: 2013-02-02 07:24 am (UTC)
darknessb4me: (speak)
From: [personal profile] darknessb4me
It's a ridiculous premise for an afterlife. There's no point in giving inmates second chances. You get it wrong the first time, you die.

Date: 2013-02-02 08:17 pm (UTC)
darknessb4me: (distant)
From: [personal profile] darknessb4me
Of course I feel like that for some people, but I'm angry and bitter. I don't think any of the wardens here understand why a person becomes a villain. Disregarding the moral habits I was taught was the most freeing thing I've ever done. Regardless of my purpose, even if my intent is good, I have so many more choices of how to approach it. Giving someone liberty means letting them do things you don't like to see done, and then letting them accept the consequences.

When I care about someone's wellbeing, I prize their freedom above their potential for destruction.

Date: 2013-02-03 12:19 am (UTC)
darknessb4me: (right ok)
From: [personal profile] darknessb4me
Then I'll help you if I can.

Date: 2013-02-03 12:28 am (UTC)
darknessb4me: (sulk)
From: [personal profile] darknessb4me
I don't want help, it hurts my pride.

Date: 2013-02-03 01:14 am (UTC)
darknessb4me: (sulk)
From: [personal profile] darknessb4me
I don't want help because none of you are good enough to help me. It has nothing to do with how I feel about myself.

Date: 2013-02-03 02:03 am (UTC)
darknessb4me: (swish)
From: [personal profile] darknessb4me
I don't think people are even capable of helping me. Unless Fordring lets me die, that would be helpful. But Fordring and I are equals.

[text // unaffected rinzler is so puzzled]

Date: 2013-02-03 05:30 am (UTC)
ifightfor: (a way off)
From: [personal profile] ifightfor
Then go with him.

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Prefect

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